Wives Sacrificing Jobs: What Option?

In most cultures a wife’s main priority is to care for the children and to support her husband. It is therefore not unusual to see women giving up profitable employments so their husbands can take up a new position or that desirable scholarship offer to enhance their qualifications. Often these opportunities mean migrating, and without giving it a second thought the good wife throws in years of hardwork, recognition and potential for the enthusiasm of greener pastures. Without prior experience about work abroad suitcases are packed full of ‘I go survive’ delusions. This enthusiasm is dampened six months later when the routine of household chores and child minding sets in. When friends and counterpart who stayed on advance in their job and earnings. When you realize you can no longer make inputs on issues you ordinarily discuss confidently. When you decide to “smell the cheese” and make the most of it but find yourself staring blank endlessly. When you go sniffing for local gossip and natter in the name of coffee mornings or house fellowship with other stay at home Mums.

‘Of course, you can’t have it all’ ‘you want to change the natural order of things?’ ‘what do you expect, that is how the traditional marriage works’ ‘your husband is earning enough for the family’ ‘it’s your choice, deal with it’ and other loads of balderdash some would argue. But the fact of the matter is few women would “choose” to stop work if it was negotiable. Long before the congratulatory letter arrives it is an “agreed” conclusion that she will move. You can’t stay back and neither can you ask your hubby to forgo that opportunity even if you can support the family more, in short that is the height of impudence. That is what family is about, bond with your kids, the society expects that and that is what happens end of! Much as women love to be with their kids and I mean adore them they don’t want to turn dorky doing it.

So what alternatives do women have when they find themselves in this situation? None! The system makes no room for working women. The few progressives made in the form of maternity leave, flexible hours, are not forthcoming as companies are not running charities and thus not obligated. This is not about self-interest, feminism or equality with the opposite sex but a fair acceptance that all humans need to be constantly challenged and thus should remain in the system. As flimsy as it might sound men go through the same feelings when they lose their jobs and some even handle it worse by becoming wasted or going the shrink route. When we do something by choice it means we want to do it not because it is what we are REQUIRED to do. As it stands, wives are too loving to think of anything else and that's the only pick “love your family with all your heart and remain forever grumpy”.